My three top WTFery moments.

It doesn't matter how worldly we think we are when we travel, there will always be things that make our jaws drop.

Here are my top three.

1 Landing in Abu Dhabi

Our Airbus landed in Abu Dhabi (UAE) just before dawn and I was glad to get off the plane after being cooped up in the dry and airless cabin for about six hours. This time there was no air bridge to the terminus, so we were taken out via the the rear exit down the stairs, and stepped straight into a wave of absolute heat and humidity. I swear my knees were buckling - and the sun hadn't even risen yet.

We were quickly ushered onto a flat based bus and once on board, lined up like 80 or so vertical sardines - all strap hanging. (I can safely say that NO ONE wanted to sit at this point) However, the biggest thing I noticed was the powerful air conditioning forcing down a blanket of cold air over us. That was the good bit.

Suddenly, while we're driving from the plane to the terminus, I noticed condensation trickle down the window - on the outside.

Woahhh, now that's not something you see every day.

2 Parking Italian style.

I was on a bus in Milan and this very creative style of parking caught my eye.

Yes you're right. There is angle parking on the grass AND parallel parking together.

And no, I have NO idea how the cars on the grass can possibly get out first.

This is what else I saw in one bus trip: cars parked nose to nose on the same side of the street - that is unless one of those teensy Smart cars is backed in between them.

Double parking occurred pretty much everywhere and angle parking seemed to be up to individual preference of L-R or R-L. It looked like herring bone stitch in some streets. One of the oddest things was two cars parked T- bone style on a small painted traffic island while cars drove around them.

An Aussie parking inspector would have a field day over here. His ticket book would be empty in minutes.

I've reckon if you give the Italian motorist an inch, he'll try to park a car in it.

Having said all that, I think the Smart cars were incredibly cute, as are the Vespas that zip through the traffic.

I would love either, but there is no way I would try to drive in Italy; it is just way too scary for li'l ole me.

3 Italian live TV.

I'm not sure what cracked me up more: the show that was a bizarre cross between 'What's my Line and Deal or No Deal', or the talent show for little kids where the leggy female backup dancers came out prancing and gyrating in numbers that seemed to be in inverse proportion to the talent of the child.

Let me tell you about the second one first. You need to imagine a precocious 5 year old warbling an off-key-version of the old( ancient ) standard 'Cheek to Cheek' in the centre of the stage while an absolute flock of be-feathered dancers cavorted and wriggled behind her.

No wonder the audience applauded like mad. I couldn't watch more than ten minutes of this one. It was far too distracting.

The other show had the fascination of a slow motion train wreck. The premise is that the contestant has to match up a list of 10 professions with a group of 10 random individuals (from the studio audience I suspect) who are standing in a row - police line up style - one at a time and in a some kind of prearranged order.

While the contestant deliberated the match, he or she was encouraged to do so aloud and to examine the matchee's clothing, hands for calluses and or jewellery, arm muscles and/ or shoes or whatever - and to give their reasoning why they think ( for example) that the buff young man from Naples might be the airport luggage handler.

Once they've locked in the answer, the matchee hands over a sealed envelope to the host, and a value in Euros is revealed. I'm guessing that the less obvious the match, the more money it was worth. But I might just be cynical.

So when we found out that the potential baggage handler's envelope contained a very large amount, we knew it was not a good sign.

Because, if the contestant got it wrong, he or she lost everything that had been won to that point and would have rebuild the total from the money left in the pool.

Once that was done we were given the big reveal and Boy, do they milk it for every moment of suspense. The matchee stands in the spotlight and the camera circles him/her for a good minute to the sound of a ticking clock. I didn't dare look away for fear of missing a twitch or a smile or some kind of clue as to the answer. It seems to go on forever and I swear no one is breathing when the matchee finally announces: No, I am not the Baggage Handler.'

Even though I was appalled by its superficiality, I was fascinated by this show. I admit that I really did want to find out what this young studly fellow really did for a living. And guess what? He was the baby sitter. . Who'd have thought?