This week my father joins my mother at her nursing home in Geelong. He agreed to the move two weeks ago. This is a BIG thing in our lives. The ties that bind us are surely unraveling now.
Mum is over the moon about the move. Not only will Dad be there with her every day now, she has moved to a different part of the nursing home and has a private room and bathroom. ( That was the clincher we think) Dad will literally be just around the corner in a bigger room (with a shared bathroom though) in low level care.
Mum has been doing well. She seems far less confused. In fact she was helping her old roommate play cards in the Day Room a day or so before Christmas. She is also mobilising much better. When my uncle died almost two months ago, she had to go to the funeral in a maxi taxi. Now she can transfer in and out of a regular car using her walking frame. This meant that Lynda was able to have them over for Christmas Dinner without the song and dance involved in hiring a special vehicle. It took a lot of the pressure off, as you can imagine.
I've been over to Geelong twice in the last month or so. The first time was for my uncle's funeral and the second was to help out Dad in the house and to give Lynda a break. She's had four months of hell trying to keep the three of them (Mum, Dad and Uncle) basically functioning. I likened it to herding cats. eg Dad renewed his insurance on the car he can no longer drive. No one told him not to! Then, no sooner had Lynda taken Dad out for some respite care, than our uncle was admitted to hospital ( literally - she was in the care coming home from the nursing home when she took the call) Our uncle was gravely ill, when Dad called her asking to be taken to the doctor. He ended up being admitting to (a different) hospital because he'd buggered up his aperients. ( for constipation)
Anyway, she REALLY needed a decent break. When I came over I was able to do a bit for Dad, thereby relieving Lynda while I was there, but there is still a great deal more to do. I kept busy doing some cooking for him and taking him to his various appointments around town. I also cleaned out a porta loo which had been very full for a very long time. Yes it was as revolting as it sounds. I flipped his mattress, evicted the dust bunnies beneath his bed, tried to do two loads of washing but discovered that the machine leaks- so ended up mopping up the laundry floor ( twice)
I would have liked to do more but Dad was determined to deal with things on his own terms and in his own time. One project I helped him with was cataloguing my uncle's camera collection with a view to selling it. I even managed to find two potential buyers for one particularly nice camera, but Dad thinks it's worth more than they offered and plans to ask around some more. Since he can't use the phone any more because his hearing is so poor, I seriously doubt that will happen.
Frankly, He's raised pfaffing about to a fine art - and that's really frustrating because he was once a very decisive and clear thinking man. With two weeks notice, he'd scarcely packed for his move until Lynda forced the pace.
Still, now, with him in the nursing home, we will have a bit more flexibility in what we do about the house and its contents.
As luck would have it, I had already booked myself another flight over before he made the decision to go into care. That means that the next trip in a few weeks will be less about running around after him and more about finding homes for 50 years worth of 'stuff.'
Why does my stomach sink every time I think about it?
Why did I wake up this morning wondering what to do with 24 volumes of Encyclopaedia Britannica that are too old to be useful and too young to be of any value, but are in immaculate condition? Why do I grow pale at the thought of bringing a 100 year old piano down from upstairs, when I vividly remember it got up there with the help of a crane.
And what on earth are we going to do with two ( yes two) electric organs and boxes and boxes of organ music? (Organs were all the rage in the 70s, don't you know. Not so much now.)
I think I need a cup of tea and a lie down...
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