This week my father joins my mother at her nursing home in Geelong. He agreed to the move two weeks ago. This is a BIG thing in our lives. The ties that bind us are surely unraveling now.
Mum is over the moon about the move. Not only will Dad be there with her every day now, she has moved to a different part of the nursing home and has a private room and bathroom. ( That was the clincher we think) Dad will literally be just around the corner in a bigger room (with a shared bathroom though) in low level care.
Mum has been doing well. She seems far less confused. In fact she was helping her old roommate play cards in the Day Room a day or so before Christmas. She is also mobilising much better. When my uncle died almost two months ago, she had to go to the funeral in a maxi taxi. Now she can transfer in and out of a regular car using her walking frame. This meant that Lynda was able to have them over for Christmas Dinner without the song and dance involved in hiring a special vehicle. It took a lot of the pressure off, as you can imagine.
I've been over to Geelong twice in the last month or so. The first time was for my uncle's funeral and the second was to help out Dad in the house and to give Lynda a break. She's had four months of hell trying to keep the three of them (Mum, Dad and Uncle) basically functioning. I likened it to herding cats. eg Dad renewed his insurance on the car he can no longer drive. No one told him not to! Then, no sooner had Lynda taken Dad out for some respite care, than our uncle was admitted to hospital ( literally - she was in the care coming home from the nursing home when she took the call) Our uncle was gravely ill, when Dad called her asking to be taken to the doctor. He ended up being admitting to (a different) hospital because he'd buggered up his aperients. ( for constipation)
Anyway, she REALLY needed a decent break. When I came over I was able to do a bit for Dad, thereby relieving Lynda while I was there, but there is still a great deal more to do. I kept busy doing some cooking for him and taking him to his various appointments around town. I also cleaned out a porta loo which had been very full for a very long time. Yes it was as revolting as it sounds. I flipped his mattress, evicted the dust bunnies beneath his bed, tried to do two loads of washing but discovered that the machine leaks- so ended up mopping up the laundry floor ( twice)
I would have liked to do more but Dad was determined to deal with things on his own terms and in his own time. One project I helped him with was cataloguing my uncle's camera collection with a view to selling it. I even managed to find two potential buyers for one particularly nice camera, but Dad thinks it's worth more than they offered and plans to ask around some more. Since he can't use the phone any more because his hearing is so poor, I seriously doubt that will happen.
Frankly, He's raised pfaffing about to a fine art - and that's really frustrating because he was once a very decisive and clear thinking man. With two weeks notice, he'd scarcely packed for his move until Lynda forced the pace.
Still, now, with him in the nursing home, we will have a bit more flexibility in what we do about the house and its contents.
As luck would have it, I had already booked myself another flight over before he made the decision to go into care. That means that the next trip in a few weeks will be less about running around after him and more about finding homes for 50 years worth of 'stuff.'
Why does my stomach sink every time I think about it?
Why did I wake up this morning wondering what to do with 24 volumes of Encyclopaedia Britannica that are too old to be useful and too young to be of any value, but are in immaculate condition? Why do I grow pale at the thought of bringing a 100 year old piano down from upstairs, when I vividly remember it got up there with the help of a crane.
And what on earth are we going to do with two ( yes two) electric organs and boxes and boxes of organ music? (Organs were all the rage in the 70s, don't you know. Not so much now.)
I think I need a cup of tea and a lie down...
Friday, December 28, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Family in flux.
Three weeks ago Mum fell over in the bathroom. Dad couldn't lift her because he had severe back pain. Anyway, they called an ambulance and a few hours later, we learned she had broken her hip. She had surgery that night, but ten days later she was still confused and disoriented and was deemed unrehab-able. Two weeks later she was placed in a Nursing home right across town.
I should say from the outset that it sounds like it's a lovely place and has lots of excellent activities for the residents. They have a room which is filled with memorabilia from the 40s and 50s that the residents can visit and even rearrange to their heart's content.
But at precisely the same time that all of this was happening, we had confirmation that Dad's back pain and prostate trouble were indeed linked. It has spread to his bones - hence the pain of the last few months. It has played havoc with his appetite and his sleep too. He hasn't been traveling at all well.
Right now, he's battling on at home on his own and his doctors are trying to find him a pain regimen that works. His urologist actually made a house call last week! Now that's not something that happens every day.
I'm lucky that Lynda has things well in hand. She's arranged the ACAT ( Aged Care Assessment Team) assessment for him, but he only comes up as requiring Low level care at this stage. (Mum is in a High Care facility). And she's been taking him to his doctor's appointments and acting as interpreter because his hearing is so poor.
She keeps my updated - and at this stage, no news is good news. I've told her I'll come over if she needs me to. But for now I'm sitting tight - and hoping for the best.
In other developments, Andrea has moved back home temporarily. The contents of their flat are currently in my garage. She has relinquished her flat and plans to join her boyfriend, Rob in Queensland in a month's time. He's gone north looking for trade work and she is finishing off her Cert III in Hospitality down here.
He's already found something and it has good prospects. It looks as though they might end up on the Gold Coast, so she will have no difficulties getting work in the food industry - It is Oz' holiday mecca after all.
It's been lovely having her here at home and I will miss her greatly when she goes. But this is a wonderful adventure for the two of them - and I wouldn't dream of trying to stop her.
At least my boys are still around...
But I sure wish that Nick would get a job.
I should say from the outset that it sounds like it's a lovely place and has lots of excellent activities for the residents. They have a room which is filled with memorabilia from the 40s and 50s that the residents can visit and even rearrange to their heart's content.
But at precisely the same time that all of this was happening, we had confirmation that Dad's back pain and prostate trouble were indeed linked. It has spread to his bones - hence the pain of the last few months. It has played havoc with his appetite and his sleep too. He hasn't been traveling at all well.
Right now, he's battling on at home on his own and his doctors are trying to find him a pain regimen that works. His urologist actually made a house call last week! Now that's not something that happens every day.
I'm lucky that Lynda has things well in hand. She's arranged the ACAT ( Aged Care Assessment Team) assessment for him, but he only comes up as requiring Low level care at this stage. (Mum is in a High Care facility). And she's been taking him to his doctor's appointments and acting as interpreter because his hearing is so poor.
She keeps my updated - and at this stage, no news is good news. I've told her I'll come over if she needs me to. But for now I'm sitting tight - and hoping for the best.
In other developments, Andrea has moved back home temporarily. The contents of their flat are currently in my garage. She has relinquished her flat and plans to join her boyfriend, Rob in Queensland in a month's time. He's gone north looking for trade work and she is finishing off her Cert III in Hospitality down here.
He's already found something and it has good prospects. It looks as though they might end up on the Gold Coast, so she will have no difficulties getting work in the food industry - It is Oz' holiday mecca after all.
It's been lovely having her here at home and I will miss her greatly when she goes. But this is a wonderful adventure for the two of them - and I wouldn't dream of trying to stop her.
At least my boys are still around...
But I sure wish that Nick would get a job.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Post Olympic blues, and old time baby blues
I'm watching the end of the Men's Marathon right now and very soon the Olympics will be over for another four years. The Ugandan won. I've loved the events that have been conducted in the streets of London. The old girl has scrubbed up very nicely. The Brits did a fine job .... and their athletes have been unbeatable - for the first time ever.
Like many Australians, I've been a little disappointed in our team's performance this time round. Some of the athletes have been utterly devastated by their perceived failure in bringing home a gold medal. I felt like weeping with him when the defending Olympic 10 metre diving champion missed his last dive in the semis and dropped right out of contention. One mistake and it was all over for him.
Unfortunately, there will be some people will be all too eager to criticise the gold medal shortfall when they come home.
I think that with only a population of 20 million, Oz has been punching above her weight for years. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the world was going to catch up. A top 10 finish is still doing very well, all things considered. ( Hungary came 9th!)
What has been great about this Olympics has been how no one country has totally dominated. Of course the US and Russia have done well, but it was thrilling to watch Cyprus' first ever medal winner cross the line - almost as good as witnessing the Jamaican sprinters burn up the athletics track or the the Kahazakstani cyclists winning six gold medals.
Of course, the ParaOlympics will be starting next week - and that is inspiring for a whole bunch of other reasons.
Earlier today it occurred to me how a couple of Olympics have marked several milestones in my life. I remember missing the Opening Ceremony of the Seoul Olympics -1988 - twice. I missed it the first time because it was only a few days after my boys were born 8 weeks early and I was spending all of my time in the special care nursery - and I missed the replay too - even though I did plan to watch it.
I won't ever forget that day. The paediatrician came into my hospital room, turned off the TV, sat on the end of my bed (this is NEVER a good sign - let me tell you) and told me that Chris (or Twin 1 as he referred to him) had something wrong with his heart. Pretty much the only Olympic event I recall seeing after that was the Mens' 100 metre final a week or so later ( Remember? Ben Johnson won, then was disqualified It was still a brilliant race.) Everything else was a blur.
The second event was more recent. Fast forward to the Beijing Olympics - 2008. The day of that particular Opening Ceremony was also the day I started Radiotherapy for my bout with DCIS. Of course that means that this time next year I will be 5 years clear- and I don't care if that one is not marked by an Olympics either.
Like many Australians, I've been a little disappointed in our team's performance this time round. Some of the athletes have been utterly devastated by their perceived failure in bringing home a gold medal. I felt like weeping with him when the defending Olympic 10 metre diving champion missed his last dive in the semis and dropped right out of contention. One mistake and it was all over for him.
Unfortunately, there will be some people will be all too eager to criticise the gold medal shortfall when they come home.
I think that with only a population of 20 million, Oz has been punching above her weight for years. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the world was going to catch up. A top 10 finish is still doing very well, all things considered. ( Hungary came 9th!)
What has been great about this Olympics has been how no one country has totally dominated. Of course the US and Russia have done well, but it was thrilling to watch Cyprus' first ever medal winner cross the line - almost as good as witnessing the Jamaican sprinters burn up the athletics track or the the Kahazakstani cyclists winning six gold medals.
Of course, the ParaOlympics will be starting next week - and that is inspiring for a whole bunch of other reasons.
Earlier today it occurred to me how a couple of Olympics have marked several milestones in my life. I remember missing the Opening Ceremony of the Seoul Olympics -1988 - twice. I missed it the first time because it was only a few days after my boys were born 8 weeks early and I was spending all of my time in the special care nursery - and I missed the replay too - even though I did plan to watch it.
I won't ever forget that day. The paediatrician came into my hospital room, turned off the TV, sat on the end of my bed (this is NEVER a good sign - let me tell you) and told me that Chris (or Twin 1 as he referred to him) had something wrong with his heart. Pretty much the only Olympic event I recall seeing after that was the Mens' 100 metre final a week or so later ( Remember? Ben Johnson won, then was disqualified It was still a brilliant race.) Everything else was a blur.
The second event was more recent. Fast forward to the Beijing Olympics - 2008. The day of that particular Opening Ceremony was also the day I started Radiotherapy for my bout with DCIS. Of course that means that this time next year I will be 5 years clear- and I don't care if that one is not marked by an Olympics either.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Having elderly parents (and why it feels like a House of Cards)
It's been a while since I last blogged - and I make no apology for this. Real life has gotten in the way.
These days I'm feeling quite meh. I'm alternating between going to work each day, hibernating inside the house because it's too revolting to do anything outside, wasting time on Facebook (far too easy to do really),reading books on my Kindle, which I love to pieces - and feeling terribly guilty because I keep putting off writing my current story due to lack of inspiration.
But all of these things are unimportant today because my 91 year old father, who is my 86 year old mother's carer, was admitted to hospital on the mainland last week with terrible abdominal pains. Suddenly, everything about their lives is falling down like a house of cards.
Lynda, my sister, has been staying with Mum this past week because she is such a high falls risk while Dad has been having multiple scans and a biopsy in search of a diagnosis. He's been dehydrated, constipated and generally pretty miserable throughout and we still don't have a firm diagnosis (although we have a pretty good idea what it is - and it aint good.)
Of course his specialist wanted to discharge him today (Sunday) but my sister has managed to put that off until at least tomorrow. We share grave doubts that he will be able to manage an upstairs bedroom and a downstairs toilet - if you get my drift. He reckons he can sleep in his recliner in the downstairs living room - which is closer to the bathroom.
Hah!... is what I say to that.
Since he is 'Gold Card positive' - an affectionate term which means that he has generous entitlements from the Department of Veterans Affairs - he may be able to have a week of convalescence at a Nursing Home before coming home. But we still need to arrange emergency Respite Care for Mum while he's away. She actually has some regular respite coming up in mid July - but that's still two weeks in the future. A lot could happen in the meantime.
Somehow, I see a trip to the mainland in my immediate future.
I also see the possibility of having to help place both parents in a nursing home and disposing of the house they have lived in since 1963 with its accumulation of nearly 50 years worth of chattels. They still own a beautiful oaken radiogram from the 50s and several 100 78rpm records in pristine condition. They also have EVERY issue of Choice magazine since God knows when. What the hell are we supposed to do with them?
My head hurts when I try to think about it.(OK we chuck the mags - but surely the others are museum pieces?)
My sister is tired. She's been sleeping on a mattress on the Living room floor because it's next to Mum's room. But she needs to get back to her own family. We agree that we mustn't waste our respective leave allocations because this business could go on for some time. I may have more leave up my sleeve but I'm also on the other side of Bass Strait. I can't simply hop in a car and drive there at the drop of a hat. This is very frustrating, especially as we still don't know what's coming next.
Aaaaghhh.
I guess it's a case of watch this space.
But all of these things are unimportant today because my 91 year old father, who is my 86 year old mother's carer, was admitted to hospital on the mainland last week with terrible abdominal pains. Suddenly, everything about their lives is falling down like a house of cards.
Lynda, my sister, has been staying with Mum this past week because she is such a high falls risk while Dad has been having multiple scans and a biopsy in search of a diagnosis. He's been dehydrated, constipated and generally pretty miserable throughout and we still don't have a firm diagnosis (although we have a pretty good idea what it is - and it aint good.)
Of course his specialist wanted to discharge him today (Sunday) but my sister has managed to put that off until at least tomorrow. We share grave doubts that he will be able to manage an upstairs bedroom and a downstairs toilet - if you get my drift. He reckons he can sleep in his recliner in the downstairs living room - which is closer to the bathroom.
Hah!... is what I say to that.
Since he is 'Gold Card positive' - an affectionate term which means that he has generous entitlements from the Department of Veterans Affairs - he may be able to have a week of convalescence at a Nursing Home before coming home. But we still need to arrange emergency Respite Care for Mum while he's away. She actually has some regular respite coming up in mid July - but that's still two weeks in the future. A lot could happen in the meantime.
Somehow, I see a trip to the mainland in my immediate future.
I also see the possibility of having to help place both parents in a nursing home and disposing of the house they have lived in since 1963 with its accumulation of nearly 50 years worth of chattels. They still own a beautiful oaken radiogram from the 50s and several 100 78rpm records in pristine condition. They also have EVERY issue of Choice magazine since God knows when. What the hell are we supposed to do with them?
My head hurts when I try to think about it.(OK we chuck the mags - but surely the others are museum pieces?)
My sister is tired. She's been sleeping on a mattress on the Living room floor because it's next to Mum's room. But she needs to get back to her own family. We agree that we mustn't waste our respective leave allocations because this business could go on for some time. I may have more leave up my sleeve but I'm also on the other side of Bass Strait. I can't simply hop in a car and drive there at the drop of a hat. This is very frustrating, especially as we still don't know what's coming next.
Aaaaghhh.
I guess it's a case of watch this space.
Monday, April 16, 2012
I'm an Early bird!
It's official. I'm an early bird.
A few weeks ago, we put down a deposit on a 15 day Rhine/Danube Cruise in August next year, and by being such clever early birds, we will get a super-duper cheap return airfare to Europe!
How cool is that?
That would be um... very.
Of course, living on the other side of the planet, we intend to make very good use of this cheap airfare and plan to extend our two weeks cruise to approximately two months traveling around Western Europe! This will use up a chunk of my Long service leave. My first lot was spent on Maternity leave, so I figure it's MY turn this time.
Who is we though, I hear you ask. Well it's Vaughan, my ex, who is going to be my travel buddy.
I think it says quite a bit about our current relationship that we get on well enough and share sufficient interests that we can even consider traveling together.... and do it without killling each other.
On the contrary, we've been having a ball with the planning and budgeting. Well he's having a ball with the budgeting side of things. Me, I'm just praying that there's going to be enough money in the kitty by the time we leave.
Right now, there is half a crate's worth of brochures on my living room floor and we have spent weeks discussing:
1, the relative merits of leasing vs hiring a car in Belgium and France,
2, doing an independent rail tour of Switzerland and
3, how to get from Munich to Budapest via Prague.
The short answer are:
1 Yes. Leasing a car is the way to go if you are going to be touring for three weeks or more, which we will be doing after our cruise. Check.
2 Traveling by train seems to be the smart way to get about in Switzerland, especially if we plan to include the Glacier Express - an eight hour trip that goes from the Matterhorn (in the West) across a gazillion alpine bridges and tunnels to St Moritz (in the East. You don't want to be leaving a car behind for that one.
So Check that one too.
3 A four country group Eurail pass is going to be our friend for this sector. We plan to spend about three days in Bavaria, another three days in Prague and take a sleeper train to Budapest (where the cruise begins). Final check.
We've also been checking out 'B&B' accommodation in rural France and Belgium (what would we have done without Google maps and the internet?) and I've been exploring the possibilities of doing several half-day cooking classes. There is one in Budapest which sounds great, but I'm also interested in doing classes in Normandy and in Burgundy. I figure that if we're going to be away for two months, a few low-key/ do-nothing type days would be in order. Since one of the highlights of my last trip was my Tuscan cookery class, I think fitting in two or three classes would be great. Good wine, good food and good company. You can't beat it!
We're also interested in visiting the historical WWI sites near the Somme (one of my great uncles fought there.) Of course we mustn't forget the Normandy D-Day landing beaches,and just down the road is the Bayeux tapestry. Oh dear, the list goes on ... and on.
Our biggest danger will be that between now and when we go, we will find so many things that we can't possibly miss out on, that we will run ourselves ragged when we finally get there.
Speaking of which, I have learned my lesson from my last sojourn. We are going to stop off in Asia going over and coming back, in an effort to offset the dreaded Jetlaaaaaag.
It may still be more than a year away, but I'm getting excited now!
A few weeks ago, we put down a deposit on a 15 day Rhine/Danube Cruise in August next year, and by being such clever early birds, we will get a super-duper cheap return airfare to Europe!
How cool is that?
That would be um... very.
Of course, living on the other side of the planet, we intend to make very good use of this cheap airfare and plan to extend our two weeks cruise to approximately two months traveling around Western Europe! This will use up a chunk of my Long service leave. My first lot was spent on Maternity leave, so I figure it's MY turn this time.
Who is we though, I hear you ask. Well it's Vaughan, my ex, who is going to be my travel buddy.
I think it says quite a bit about our current relationship that we get on well enough and share sufficient interests that we can even consider traveling together.... and do it without killling each other.
On the contrary, we've been having a ball with the planning and budgeting. Well he's having a ball with the budgeting side of things. Me, I'm just praying that there's going to be enough money in the kitty by the time we leave.
Right now, there is half a crate's worth of brochures on my living room floor and we have spent weeks discussing:
1, the relative merits of leasing vs hiring a car in Belgium and France,
2, doing an independent rail tour of Switzerland and
3, how to get from Munich to Budapest via Prague.
The short answer are:
1 Yes. Leasing a car is the way to go if you are going to be touring for three weeks or more, which we will be doing after our cruise. Check.
2 Traveling by train seems to be the smart way to get about in Switzerland, especially if we plan to include the Glacier Express - an eight hour trip that goes from the Matterhorn (in the West) across a gazillion alpine bridges and tunnels to St Moritz (in the East. You don't want to be leaving a car behind for that one.
So Check that one too.
3 A four country group Eurail pass is going to be our friend for this sector. We plan to spend about three days in Bavaria, another three days in Prague and take a sleeper train to Budapest (where the cruise begins). Final check.
We've also been checking out 'B&B' accommodation in rural France and Belgium (what would we have done without Google maps and the internet?) and I've been exploring the possibilities of doing several half-day cooking classes. There is one in Budapest which sounds great, but I'm also interested in doing classes in Normandy and in Burgundy. I figure that if we're going to be away for two months, a few low-key/ do-nothing type days would be in order. Since one of the highlights of my last trip was my Tuscan cookery class, I think fitting in two or three classes would be great. Good wine, good food and good company. You can't beat it!
We're also interested in visiting the historical WWI sites near the Somme (one of my great uncles fought there.) Of course we mustn't forget the Normandy D-Day landing beaches,and just down the road is the Bayeux tapestry. Oh dear, the list goes on ... and on.
Our biggest danger will be that between now and when we go, we will find so many things that we can't possibly miss out on, that we will run ourselves ragged when we finally get there.
Speaking of which, I have learned my lesson from my last sojourn. We are going to stop off in Asia going over and coming back, in an effort to offset the dreaded Jetlaaaaaag.
It may still be more than a year away, but I'm getting excited now!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
How I spent my home holiday...
It's a new year and I've had the last three weeks off. But on Monday it's back to work and I'm at that point where I've really gotten into holiday mode. You know, sleep in 'til nine (or later), read in bed with a nice cup of coffee for an hour or so - mooch about for the afternoon and finally kick into gear late afternoon or evening - ready to do it all again tomorrow.
It's going to be a rude shock come 7 am Monday when I can't kill the alarm.
But it wasn't all an exercise in wasting time. Oh no. I'm very proud of the fact that I filled a 4 metre skip with with garden crap. The garden had become completely overgrown - and I filled it with tree boughs and a few things too large to go in my rubbish bin.
Just after Christmas I wrote a quick list of things I'd 'like' to get done during my time off . No pressure mind - but I find if it's written down, it will at least get looked at.
Anyway, I'm pleased to report that I almost cleared the list - right from the easy bits like getting a hair cut, buying new towels and replacing Chris' boots for school, down to the harder things like putting my stamp collection into order and finally getting back into writing. (Yay for the last one).
But then, on Christmas Day I discovered that my DVD player had karked it - so that led me to the Boxing Day sales. Eek!!! I mean I had always intended to EVENTUALLY replace my TV/ DVD player/ amp with a digital model - I just hadn't counted on doing it in this half of the year.
It was kinda the same thing with the mega spiffy vacuum cleaner Andrea showed me at the vacuum store. Sure a new machine was on the household's Wish List - but WAY down. But then, the sale price was SO good (almost half price), I really couldn't pass it up.
'Course now I have to bloody vacuum...
But this particular wish list has some other 'big ticket' items on it... and I've decided to tackle some of them now too. Next week I'm getting the guttering covered with a leaf guard, since they are too tall for a standard ladder and the trees are now too tall AND I've started pricing new carpets. I've drawn the line at the painting and bathroom renos - for now.
I think I probably do need to get back to work on Monday. I could go broke being on holidays.
It's going to be a rude shock come 7 am Monday when I can't kill the alarm.
But it wasn't all an exercise in wasting time. Oh no. I'm very proud of the fact that I filled a 4 metre skip with with garden crap. The garden had become completely overgrown - and I filled it with tree boughs and a few things too large to go in my rubbish bin.
Just after Christmas I wrote a quick list of things I'd 'like' to get done during my time off . No pressure mind - but I find if it's written down, it will at least get looked at.
Anyway, I'm pleased to report that I almost cleared the list - right from the easy bits like getting a hair cut, buying new towels and replacing Chris' boots for school, down to the harder things like putting my stamp collection into order and finally getting back into writing. (Yay for the last one).
But then, on Christmas Day I discovered that my DVD player had karked it - so that led me to the Boxing Day sales. Eek!!! I mean I had always intended to EVENTUALLY replace my TV/ DVD player/ amp with a digital model - I just hadn't counted on doing it in this half of the year.
It was kinda the same thing with the mega spiffy vacuum cleaner Andrea showed me at the vacuum store. Sure a new machine was on the household's Wish List - but WAY down. But then, the sale price was SO good (almost half price), I really couldn't pass it up.
'Course now I have to bloody vacuum...
But this particular wish list has some other 'big ticket' items on it... and I've decided to tackle some of them now too. Next week I'm getting the guttering covered with a leaf guard, since they are too tall for a standard ladder and the trees are now too tall AND I've started pricing new carpets. I've drawn the line at the painting and bathroom renos - for now.
I think I probably do need to get back to work on Monday. I could go broke being on holidays.
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